Out of all the ornaments I hold dear, the one that sparks the most memories is my mother’s musical elf. Long before the “Elf on the Shelf” made its debut, my mom’s elf sat on a branch and watched over our brightly packaged gifts piled below. Though the trees may have changed through the years — from the metal pom-pom variety with the revolving color spotlight or the easy-hook-umbrella tree we bought at E.J. Korvettes, the elf was always there, jingling all the way.
Here is my homage to mom’s musical elf.
Twas night before Christmas, and all through the land
My Elf on the Shelf was flat on his can
Checking to see who was naughty and nice
In my house he did search for that last pizza slice.
I haven’t cooked, no cookies, no pies
I’ve ordered take out, fried chicken, cheeseburgers, and fries.
But it’s time to get busy and deco the house
To make daughter happy, and even my spouse.
I want to be shopping and wrapping gifts with care
Oh no, but the Elf on the Shelf now nests in my hair
Oh bother, oh brother, what shall I do,
I can’t level this elf — I can’t tell him to shoo
I need to blindfold him, so he won’t bother me
But where do I hide him, way up in the tree?
Enough of the kevetching and moving this Elf
It’s back to cleaning, mopping, and dusting his shelf.
My home is now tidy, all spick, span, and neat
I can finally sit down and take a load off my feet.
I’m ready to slumber for a long winter’s nap
With Snowy and Paw Paw and even Elf in my lap.
Not for Nuthin’™ as I look out my window so twinkly and bright
New snow on the lawn, what a beautiful sight.
Me and my elf wish a Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.
Follow me on Twitter @JDelBuono.
