My 18-year-old daughter was incredibly mature about getting a summer job. She decided months ahead of time to be a lifeguard, did her research, found a class, studied, practiced, and passed. Then she found a position, interviewed, and started on Memorial Day weekend.
I am very proud of her on this count, but she also drives me crazy with her inability to manage and complete the most menial tasks around the house. I have almost reached the point when I will run screaming down the street, never to be heard from again.
How can my kids be so incredibly responsible about some things, and so totally undependable with others?
The list of aggravations with both my girls is long, starting with getting up in the morning, which is a constant struggle. My younger daughter seems to take longer every day to get from the moment her alarm goes off until she is out the door on her way to school. There is also a never-ending trail of dishes left on the table and in various rooms where they shouldn’t be. Dirty clothes remain wherever they land, on the floor, in a gym bag, but certainly not in the hamper.
If my girls were one way or the other, total goof-ups or organizational stars, I guess I could live with it. The constant uncertainty, wondering whether a brilliant, responsible, and organized young woman will show up or the late, messy, and forgetful adolescent will come down the stairs in the morning keeps me guessing and on edge.
In their moments of glory — the history paper done early enough for a good edit and proofreading, the science project carefully planned and constructed, the birthday present bought, wrapped and ready the day before it’s needed — I see the potential in my daughters, what they are capable of, and it amazes me. When they can’t manage to get a dirty napkin into the garbage can, my exasperation is extreme because I know they really can do it.
I know my girls are teenagers and they will stay up too late watching “Dr. Who” or linger with friends and be late getting home. I don’t expect perfection from them.
What I want is for my children, now young adults, to be able to turn on that responsibility switch more often so I can rely on them to walk the dog or clean up after dinner without harassing and cajoling them.
My fear, deep down, is that they won’t ever get it together, that my older daughter, having been so great about getting this job, will lose it by being late or not doing the little stuff like sweeping up or putting away the towels.
Sometimes in life, you have to sweat the small stuff, and when I come home to find their papers dumped all over the table and shoes are scattered across the floor, I worry they won’t ever be consistent about all their responsibilities, that they won’t ever grow into the responsible, capable adults I know they can be.
I only hope they will get there, and soon.
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