So many New Year’s resolutions are wishful dreams, appearing briefly in sudden fits of holiday optimism before dying quietly in the face of life’s grim reality. But not at The Brooklyn Paper, where we hold Kings County’s movers and shakers to account for the vague promises they made to themselves, but were foolish enough to share with us.
We checked in with last year’s promise-makers, and added a few new faces who will be forced to follow up in 12 months.
Councilman (D–Marine Park)
Last year’s resolution: Lose Weight
The follow through: Maisel didn’t lose any weight. It’s unclear if he gained weight.
“I’m not doing well,“ he said.
This year’s resolution: To get his chores done before he dies. It should be noted that Maisel is not suffering from a terminal illness — that we know of.
”It’s to do my undertakings before the undertaker takes me under,” said Maisel, enigmatically.
Chairwoman, Community Board 15
Last year’s resolution: To eat better.
The follow through: She’s doing great.
“It’s been going excellent,” said Scavo. “I feel great, and I’m going to keep up my walking and my dieting.”
This year’s resolution: To keep it up.
“You get to a certain age you got to watch what you eat, or you become a whale,” said Scavo. “I’m not going to let that happen.”
Councilman (D–Bay Ridge)
Last year’s resolution: To leverage his constituency’s racial diversity as a force for good in the neighborhood.
The follow through: He’s still got work to do.
“I don’t think it’s fully accomplished,” said Gentile. “It’s a continuing resolution and I don’t think you can accomplish that in a year.”
This year’s resolution: The exact same thing, but more.
“It’s to move forward,” he said. “We’ve reorganized and reconstituted the Unity Task Force, which has members of different religious and ethnic communities, and it’s looking to host activities that would promote the type of community we have, which is a multi-ethnic and religious community. So that goes in line with that resolution.”
Self-proclaimed Mayor, Coney Island
Last year’s resolution: To enjoy the sweet, sublime pleasure of central air and indoor heating at his Coney Island USA arts center.
The follow through: It didn’t go well. Apparently, the air conditioner is on the fritz. Zigun did, however, lose 15 pounds.
This year’s resolution: To bring the long-abandoned landmarked Shore Theater back from the brink.
“2016 is the year dedicated to saving the Shore Theater!” said Zigun.
District Manager, Community Board 6
Last year’s resolution: To pet more dogs and smile at more babies.
The follow through: Hammerman has finally found joy and plans to continue petting babies and smiling at dogs.
“It’s been very rewarding,” he said.
This year’s resolution: To update what is already undeniably one of the best community board websites in Brooklyn, if not of all community boards throughout the universe.
“I’d really love to get the resources together to finally update the community board’s web site,” said Hammerman. “We were one for the first web sites when we launched in 2001, and we have a plan for the improvements we want to make for the web site, it’s just a matter of cobbling the resources together to get it.”
Co-chair, Community Board 6 Transportation Committee
Last year’s resolution: To encourage the people and the city of New York have to reduce traffic fatalities.
The follow through: McClure said that fatalities are down since last year, but people still continue to die in traffic-related accidents so there is “a long road ahead to make streets safer.”
This year’s resolution: To clear the more than 19,000 e-mails currently languishing in his inbox.
John Quadrozzi Jr.
Red Hook businessman and historic boat enthusiast
This Year’s Resolution: To hang out with nice folks, and stop hanging out with jerks.
“Spend less time on those that look out for themselves and more time on those that look out for others,” he said.
Comedian and owner of Williamsburg’s Experiment Comedy Gallery
This year’s resolution: To train his cat to use the New York City transit system, so he can visit Fathelbab at work.
“Already bought him an unlimited Metrocard,” he said
Founder, Bay Ridge Democrats
This year’s resolution: To lose weight, and to buy coffee for rascals who steal his bagels.
“I’m officially too old to play defensive line for the Giants so it’s time to give it up. And when you’re overweight, your wife finding poppy seeds in the car is worse than her finding stripper glitter on your tie,” said Brannan. “So if you run into me around the neighborhood and you see me eating a bagel, feel free to knock it out of my hands, I won’t be mad. I may even buy you a cup of coffee to say thanks. With skim milk of course!”
This year’s resolution: To become a professional athlete and lead a Brooklyn sports franchise to victory on a national scale.
“I resolve to do everything in my power — including putting on a uniform myself — to deliver Brooklyn a championship team!” Adams said.