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This ‘Court’ is in session • Brooklyn Paper

This ‘Court’ is in session

Shannon “Smoked” Sturgis, Never Scared
Photo by Elizabeth Graham

The Brooklyn Kickball League’s playoff picture is as muddied as its ball fields.

A second straight weekend of sloppy weather and even sloppier play did little to separate more than a dozen teams vying for a first-round bye in next month’s playoffs.

The John Cougar Mellencamps have appeared to secure itself the top seed after posting resounding wins against an unappealing mash-up of the Kikiables and Divine Sisterhood, 10-0, and Recession Aggression, 12-2.

“We are looking forward to the second annual ‘Bye a Run Week’ on Sunday after a team retreat this weekend at an undisclosed location with trust falls and all,” said “Shirtless” Tom Dontprintmylastname, the Mellencamps’ captain.

But the playoff outlook is uncertain for teams such as the sixth-ranked Mathletes, who have subtracted a cohesive game plan from their earlier inspired play, now stumbling badly in the second half of the season.

Not to mention ninth-ranked Baywatch, 10th-ranked RamRod, 11th-ranked Booze on First, and 12th-ranked Bacon Bits — all who are battling for a final playoff bye against eighth-ranked People’s Court.

But if Sunday’s match play was any indication, court is now in session.

People’s Court administered swift and conclusive justice to the Pony Boys, 7-6, in Sunday’s most dramatic game behind Thomas “Don” Ho’s walk-off single, scoring Hannah “Sandra” Bernhardt amid a downpour.

But the team will be without its beloved former captain and guiding spirit, Courtney “Jeff” Danielson, who is moving to Wisconsin for a new job next month.

Court spokesman Jeremy “Surrogate Judge” Medanich said her absence will create a hole “in both the outfield and our hearts,” while League Commissioner Kevin “Commish” Dailey acknowledged there would be “less gossip” in the dugout.

In other games, Saved By the Balls downed Booze on First, 10-6, but lost to Recession Aggression by one run, while Bacon Bits pummeled Hot Mess, 15-10, in a slippery laugher.

And fifth-placed Never Scared allowed only one run on Sunday, shutting down Ramrod, 4-1, before sending Booze on First to rehab with a 10-0 win, while Ramrod butchered the Bacon Bits, 9-3.

Dailey says teams should keep their eye on the veteran Never Scared squad, which has amassed a quietly impressive season, and Ramrod, which he believes is mostly likely to leapfrog its competition and steal a bye next weekend.

“Ramrod is inches away from ascending to one of the best teams in the league,” said Dailey. “They have good kicking, good fielding, decent base running — they just need a little more seasoning.”

Buy-a-Run-Day with Brooklyn Kickball at Gilroy Field in McCarren Park (Bedford Avenue at N. 13th Street in Greenpoint), Aug 28, 1–11 pm.

David “El Troubador” Machado, Mathletes
Photo by Elizabeth Graham

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