Single women in their late-30s heaved a
collective sigh following a New York Times report a few years
back that women had a better chance of being killed in a terrorist
attack than marrying after the age of 40.
These, of course, are different times – women over 40 are now
even more likely to die by terrorist fire as they are to tie
the knot.
This grim reality has not escaped Simcha Weinstein, a rabbinical
student, former movie producer and self-proclaimed mover and
shaker.
Even at 27, Weinstein, whose 21-year-old wife, Ariella, is pregnant,
recognizes that singles nearing their – um, how shall we say,
autumn years – are by and large a neglected mass.
To rectify that problem, Weinstein, who is the director of the
Jewish Executive Learning Annex – run out of Congregation B’nai
Avraham, an orthodox synagogue in Brooklyn Heights – organized
a series of mixers for Jewish 40- to 60-year-olds, called "8
Guys, 8 Gals, 8 Minutes," or simply "8 Date."
The event, which costs $25 and attracts singles from across the
city, offers participants eight-minute segments to meet potential
mates. Seated in chairs facing one another, men rotate from woman
to woman every eight minutes, pausing in between to indicate
with a check mark on a clipboard if they’d like to see that person
again. Those forms are handed back to Weinstein who sees to matching
up interested parties.
The first "8 Date," on Jan. 22, was hosted at Bargemusic,
a converted, docked barge that normally hosts chamber music concerts
on the East River at Old Fulton Street. The event saw its fair
share of snafus. There were the toilets that froze, and the rocking
barge, which caused more than one passenger to toss their cookies
so to speak. Oh yes, and that other small problem 23 women arrived
and only eight men.
With the barge behind him, Weinstein organized the second "8
Date" on Feb. 23, in the basement of Congregation B’nai
Avraham, on Remsen Street between Henry and Clinton streets.
This time he had singles prepay to ensure the balance of the
sexes, capped the age limit at 55, and avoided all things nausea
inducing (except for alcohol, that is).
A well-healed bunch in leather pants, knee high boots, and an
army fatigues-inspired dress filed into the synagogue basement
around 7 pm. Some poured themselves a glass of wine while others
grabbed a bottle of Budweiser before taking a seat.
"I don’t have any expectations, but it could be a lot of
laughs," said Corrie, 54, who has 10 grandchildren. Corrie
sat out the first eight-minute round since the group was one
man short. (He arrived a few minutes later.)
Weinstein, who compensates in personality what he lacks in height,
paced the room with wristwatch in hand. Every eight minutes he
would emphatically ring a bell for what felt like another eight
minutes (Ariella eventually put a stop to that), indicating it
was time to move on to the next potential mate.
Watching the clock
Hardly a slave to the ol’ sundial, Weinstein tended to stretch
out sessions he thought were going particularly well and cut
those short that seemed to be headed nowhere.
"I believe in romance," said Weinstein, who was set
up with his wife by a matchmaker in Israel. On their first date,
the two wandered the streets of Jerusalem. That was enough for
Weinstein, a native of England, to pack his bags and move with
Ariella to her native Brooklyn.
The second "8 Date" proceeded more smoothly than the
first. Some pairs seemed to be genuinely enjoying themselves
while others, it appeared, would rather have been getting root
canals.
When Weinstein rang the final bell, a few grabbed their belongings
and beelined for the door, but seven or eight stayed on to mingle.
Phyllis, 49, said she enjoyed the event and that it was generally
hard to find people in her age group.
Harvey, decked in a black suit with silver hair, said he had
been dating a woman he met at the first "8 Date."
"She’s sweet," he said, but conceded they didn’t have
much in common beyond seeking companionship.
Corrie, the grandmother of 10, who hadn’t expected much, said
she had a good time despite not meeting the man of her dreams.
The youngest of the bunch, Thomas, a 41-year-old real estate
developer, said he was asked to attend by Weinstein.
"And there’s a Jewish proverb that says never to refuse
an invitation," said Thomas, who admitted to the attendees
that there are often more women at these events because men are
looking for younger women.
"But you never know who you’re going to fall in love with,"
Thomas told the remaining stragglers.
The remaining singles all sighed.
The next "8 Date" event will
take place at Congregation B’nai Avraham, on Remsen Street between
Henry and Clinton streets. Admission is $25. Attendance is limited
to 25- to 35-year-olds. For more information about upcoming singles
events at the Jewish Executive Learning Annex, contact Simcha
Weinstein at (718) 596-4840, ext. 15.
