One of the primary goals of a television commercial is to get the right message to the right people at the right time … to sell a product or service … mostly to make a profit. For several months there’s been a commercial that starts with a surgeon talking on the telephone – “First you make a three inch incision …..”
At the other end of the line is a worried patient holding a knife asking “Shouldn’t you be doing this?”
Good question but – hang on sloopy – there’s no doctor there. Neither was one present when Steven Wilder of Omaha, Nebraska, woke up in the middle of the night with his throat closing. The paramedics were miles and minutes away and Mr. Wilder knew that he would die if he waited for them. He located the correct spot and in a nanosecond decided to perform a tracheotomy on himself. With one hand and all the bravery he could muster, he took a steak knife and made a hole large enough to keep him breathing. Only then did he seek proper medical assistance. Mr. Wilder is alive and well and owes a great piece of his recovery to the medical professionals and himself.
By the way, a nanosecond is one-billionth of a second or approximately the amount of time that passes when the traffic signal in front of you turns from red to green and the kid in the red Corvette behind you honks his horn. And for the life of me – that TV commercial I spoke about? I still don’t know what they’re selling.
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I have never heard anyone say – “Him? He’s that Methodist who plays outfield for the Yanks” or “That guy? He’s the Episcopalian who pitches for the Mets.”
With only one exception nobody ever talks about the race or religion of a baseball player. We only want to know if he can hit, field or pitch. That exception came up Saturday night when someone referred to Mike Jacobs as “…the Jewish guy who plays first base for the Marlins”. That segued into a discussion about players named Hank Greenberg, Sandy Koufax and Sid Gordon. The dialogue about Jewish players came to an abrupt halt when someone said, “The only reason we’re talking about this is because we’re surprised that Mike Jacobs is a baseball player, not a doctor.”
By the way, Mike Jacobs is not Jewish. I repeat – He’s NOT Jewish. This bombshell shocked the management of the Florida Marlins last season when they gave out Mike Jacobs T-shirts to the youngsters as part of a Jewish Heritage Day promotion.
I think the word ‘embarrassing’ fits here.
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There’s a big difference between “misspeak” and an intentional lie. Everybody knows that there aren’t fifty-seven states. Think Heinz. There was a superintendent of a school district here in Brooklyn that stated he was in all fifty-two states. Think poker. But to say so many fairy-tales that Hillary has passed as “misspeaks” is a crock. And they were so unimportant. What’s with all these bedtime stories? Who cares who she was named after? Who gives a darn if she was always a Yankee fan? And that bubbe meintse about the sniper fire? That wasn’t a “misspeak”. That was an out and out, blatant, worthless lie. Why?
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This past Memorial Day, as I usually do, I proudly displayed the Stars and Stripes from my terrace. Several hours later I looked up and noticed that mine was the only flag flying. None of my neighbors – not one – bothered to fly theirs. I wonder if they own one and forgot.
OK, gang. Let me remind you. This Saturday, June 14th, is Flag Day. If you own the banner please do the right thing. I am StanGershbein@Bellsouth.net saying that in spite of many faults the United States of America is the greatest country on the planet.
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