By Matthew Perlman
MoVape’s vapor tubes come in more flavors than an ice cream stand at an artisanal dairy convention. To get a sense of how the gas-producing juices stack up, we assigned intrepid smoking-technology reporter Matthew Perlman to conduct a taste test. Now, before you go calling the Occupational Safety and Health Administration, you should know that the samples are all nicotine-free, so this comparison is strictly about how these augmented fog-machine capsules felt wafting across Perlman’s palette. Which the store insists is perfectly safe.
Kona Velvet Milkshake
At first the vapor feels like a thin burst of steam without any flavor, but when exhaling a distinctive taste lingers. Unfortunately, it is more like a stale cup of coffee than a milkshake.
Apple Cider
The flavor is no perfect mimic of the wintry beverage, but rather a faint suggestion of the drink’s after-taste. It lacks the sweetness and full-feeling a cup of cider conveys, especially when hot. But apple juice, sure, I could see it.
Sucker Punch
This fruity “juice” hits with a rush of flavor at first, like a stick of Juicy Fruit gum. But then it mellows to something more like a watered-down Kool-Aid.
Smoked Custard
If you can get past the idea of a piece of custard steeped in cigarette haze, this is actually pretty tasty. The smoky undertones in this dessert-flavored “juice” hit home by replicating the sensation “vaping” is supposed to stand in for. It is a little on the sweet side and feels decadent. The flavor is more fully present than in the other varieties, and sticks around for minutes after you exhale.
Mother’s Milk
Again, a foul name in the context of something smokeable, but this is actually one of the store’s most popular flavors. It tastes vaguely of semi-sweet chocolate, but not like biting into a candy bar. It is more subtle than that. The flavor is thin, but still apparent. Smooth.
— Matthew Perlman
