Already cheating on that New Year’s resolution to get in shape? Having a hard time finishing out 10 minutes on the treadmill or pedaling through an episode of “Downton Abbey”? Elliptical got you feeling cynical?
Don’t worry, your failure to commit doesn’t necessarily mean that deep down you are a lazy slob. It could be that your exercise routine is just plain boring. Fortunately, there is a whole world of wacky workout regimens out there. We have hand-picked some of the weirdest in the borough and, while we cannot guarantee you will walk away with a six-pack, we are certain you will at least be entertained by watching other people try.
Babies are basically the cutest barbells in the world. Why not formalize it? This stroller-based cardio workout makes your baby work for you, for a change.
“As your baby is your resistance weight, your strength will grow as they do!” the training company Bodiesynergy writes on its website.
“Babiesynergy” at BodieSynergy [Outdoors at Prospect Park West and 11th Street, www.bodiesynergy.com]. Prices available upon request.
A German Wheel, according to the educators at Streb, is a “giant metal hamster wheel.” Now, the idea of a giant human hamster wheel might get you thinking that humanity has reached a new low, as the internet did when a Brooklyn prankster listed such an item for free on Craigslist in October (the ad photo later turned out to date back to an infamous 2006 prank war in Seattle). But do not worry — the German Wheel is actually more of a circular frame that you climb around on doing gymnastics tricks (see videos below), which is actually cooler looking.
German Wheel class at Streb [51 N 1st Street between Wythe and Kent avenues in Williamsburg, (718) 384–6491, www.streb.org]. $35 per class or $300 for a 10-class card.
The gym chain Crunch always offers weird classes. On the roster this winter is a class led by the Brooklynettes cheerleaders where pupils do yoga on a surfboard. But nothing can top the leg-and-core regimen whose aim is to allow the trainee to wear high heels more safely. At the end of the class, everyone struts across the floor in their highest heels. Flat-footed women need not apply.
“Stiletto Strength” at Crunch [691 Fulton St. between Saint Felix Street and Ashland Place in Fort Greene, (718) 797–9464, www.crunch.com]. Membership prices vary.
Slack-lining is like tightrope walking, except even harder because the line is tied loosely. Brooklyn Boulders teaches its students how to do amazing stuff on these lines, including handstands. It sounds terrifying and life-affirming.
Brooklyn Boulders [575 Degraw St. in Boerum Hill, (347) 834-9066, www.brooklynboulders.com].