Here’s what we learned on Labor Day

We just celebrated another Labor Day holiday with friends at a backyard barbecue. The ground rules this year prohibited any discussion of politics, so for almost four hours we spoke about the weather, grandchildren, fashion, cruises, grandchildren, baseball, Florida, health and, of course, grandchildren, some of whom were present. Not once did anyone bring up the labor movement, the Pullman strike, the reason for this holiday or President Grover Cleveland (Why does the mere mention of that president’s name bring thoughts of Sesame Street to my mind?). We did, however, wrap it up late in the afternoon with two very important conclusions — that we all agreed upon.

1) With school starting the next morning, all of the youngsters must rush home and take a bath.

2) This one came from my roommate, Carol, who is the supreme authority on the subject. Labor Day is absolutely, definitely, positively the very last day of the year that women are permitted to wear white.

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A convicted cop killer in Florida is attempting to stop his execution on the grounds that 33 years on death row is cruel and unusual punishment. I agree. He should have been put to death 32 and a half years ago. Now if science could only find a way to turn back the clock.

The last time I wrote something pro-death penalty I received angry, irate, fuming letters shouting that I was as bad as the murderers. OK. So I’m bad.

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This Sunday we will observe the 10th anniversary of the attack on America. I find it difficult to believe that there still are those who say “Given that 9-11 has been proven to have been staged by our own government…”

What proven? How proven? God forbid I dare question that statement whether on an Internet thread or in person, I get brilliant responses like “Evidence is in the things that happened in the months following the attacks.”

What evidence? What are you referring to? That’s when they get personal, call me names, shout me down, and really exude a lack of intelligence.

In the words of Ronald Reagan, “You can disagree without being disagreeable.”

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The Federal Government forked over $1.5 million to the Denali National Park Administration for the purpose of building new toilets. I was in the Denali National Park. There is nothing wrong with the toilets there now that a plumber and his helper couldn’t fix. This is just more wasteful spending.

In the words of the famous 1950s pitchman Sid Stone, “You say you’re not satisfied? You say you want more for your money?” OK. Here’s more.

Every year the spendthrifts in the District of Columbia supply $175 million to the Department of Veterans Affairs for the purpose of maintaining hundreds of buildings it doesn’t use. One of them is a pink, octagonal shaped monkey house in Ohio, the size of a one-car garage. It is used only for storage. Who is the genius that picked that one, Mr. Raisman, and why? I am [email protected] once again crying about government waste. Our tax dollars at work.