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Paycheck crime

Check yourself

Two cretins attacked a Viacom employee and stole more than $10,000 in checks on Driggs Avenue on Sept. 23.

The woman had picked up her paychecks from the global entertainment company, and was walking near Humboldt Street at about 10:25 pm when the two men approached her from behind.

One pulled her hair back and covered her eyes, while the other fumbled through her purse. When he found the checks, the first perp threw the woman to the ground and the two fled.

Smashed windows

A brute punched out the window of a car on Huron Street and stole a bunch of electronics on Sept. 23.

The victim went to the car, which was near the foot of the street on the waterfront, at about 5 pm to find broken glass everywhere. His radio, iPod, and stereo cables totaling $1,150 were gone.

Brash slash

A knife-wielding thug attacked a man with a box cutter in an attempt to take his cash on Kent Avenue on Sept. 23.

The victim told cops that he was near N. Seventh Street at about 5:40 am when the jerk approached and said, “Give me the money.”

Before the victim could react, his assailant pulled out the blade and slashed him on the left arm and hand, leaving the victim with a bloody arm and a full wallet.

iPunch

A boxing brute punched a pedestrian in the face and took his iPhone on Frost Street on Sept. 24.

The victim told cops that he was between Humboldt Street and Kingsland Avenue at about 9:30 pm when he heard footsteps from behind. When he turned, the perp socked him and ran his pockets, found the expensive phone and fled.

Holdup

A gunman threatened a woman and stole her iPod on Jackson Street on Sept. 25.

The 21-year-old woman was near Woodpoint Road at about 9:35 pm when the handgun-toting hooligan approached, demanding money. She didn’t hesitate — she handed over cash and an iPod Touch before the man ran away.

Roof-ied

A roofer is the lead suspect in a burglary at a Leonard Street apartment on Sept. 23.

Tenants at the building near Calyer Street came home at about 7 am to find the rooftop door open, and a laptop and cash missing. The roofer is apparently the only other person with keys. And he does have roof expertise. Hmm.

Car jam

Two dunces were caught stealing electronics from a car that was parked on Diamond Street on Sept. 24.

The victim told cops that he approached his car, which was between Nassau and Driggs avenues, at about 5:15 pm to find the thugs inside. Tragically, the two were able to escape with an iPod, a fancy satellite locator system, and sunglasses before the victim could confront them.

— Andy Campbell