Tony left his brains in San Francisco

Anthony Dominick Benedetto, also known as Tony Bennett, was plugging his new album on the Howard Stern show when thanks to Stern’s genius as an interviewer, the conversation segued to everything else but entertainment. At one point, Bennett blamed the United States for 9-11.

“We caused it because we were bombing them and they told us to stop,” he said.

Huh? Who were we bombing in September of 2001?

Who told us to stop?

What are you talking about?

Then, the famous singer enlightened us about a conversation he had with President Bush in 2005 when he was honored at the Kennedy Center. He said the commander-in-chief shared his opinion about the Iraq War.

“He told me personally that night … ‘I think I made a mistake.’ ”

Really Tony?

Now why in the world would he confide this in you? In the many conversations that George and I have had, whether in person or on the telephone, he never said anything of the sort like that to me.

Awe, c’mon Tony. Either you are making it up or your old age is showing. Instead of your heart, I think you left your brain in San Francisco.

• • •

One week ago, Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano, was waving flags and taking bows for deporting record numbers of illegal aliens. She told the world that the current administration deported nearly 400,000 immigrants, an increase of about 3,000 over the previous year.

The former Arizona governor said she expects 2011 to be another record year for deportations. Bravo, Madame Secretary, but shouldn’t we have been doing something to prevent them from entering in the first place? We’ve really done very little about covering and filling the porous holes at America’s borders. There are more American troops protecting the Korean boundary lines than there are guarding our borders protecting Americans. Something’s wrong with this picture.

• • •

Happy Birthday Fox News. It was 15 years ago when I spent three minutes on the telephone talking to someone about a brand new cable news channel. The gentleman finished by taking my address to send me a gift for responding to a few simple questions. A few days later I received a T-shirt which shouted “FOX NEWS — WE REPORT — YOU DECIDE.” I wore it a few times and, like everything else, it disappeared somewhere in that black hole of clothing that I no longer wear but don’t want to discard.

Last week, on birthday No. 15, I rummaged through the pile. And there it was, waiting for me to don it once again. Now, I’ve gained a few ounces over the years, and it was a bit snug, but I wore it anyway.

About an hour later, I was picking out apples at the supermarket when a total stranger started shouting, “How can you wear than right-wing piece of [expletive]? They only show one side of a story. Fox News is full of [expletive]”

I laughed as this man filled the store with words that my editor, fine gentleman that he is, would never permit me to use in my column.

I doubt if the guy would ever read this, but if he ever does I’d like to ask him if he can tell me what Lanny Davis, Kirsten Powers, Leslie Marshall, Juan Williams, Joe Trippi, Alan Colmes, Tamara Holder and Bob Beckel have in common. They are all left-wingers and they all appeared on the Fox News Channel, some this day and some the next. I am StanGershbein@Bellsouth.net wishing Fox a very happy birthday and many more.